Is going viral and instantly gaining tens of thousands of followers your goal?
If so, my guest, Dr. Julia Colangelo, professor at Columbia University and founder of Hello Flow, might change your mind.
After going viral on Instagram, Dr. Colangelo saw the dark side of social media, and it became a bright light bulb moment.
Listen to the week’s episode and learn why even though you can’t control when you go viral (or how the trolls will come at you), you can control how much joy and peace you’ll have on social media when you make the decision to use it as a place of play, generosity, and authenticity.
In this episode of the podcast, we talk about:
- Transferable personality traits
- Choosing to experience your joy
- Letting social fit your lifestyle
- Using the trolls to pivot
- Finding your flow and playfulness
- The spirit of generosity
This Episode Was Made Possible By:
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About the Guest:
Dr. Julia Colangelo (DSW, MSW, and LCSW) is an award-winning educator of flow and mindfulness at Columbia University and the founder of Hello Flow, a Maui-based educational and consulting company, where she helps thought leaders, public figures and celebrities get out of the riptide of overstimulation and cruise into their greatest flow state.
Her primary work is in clinical research where she has more than a decade of experience exploring the science and psychology of flow to uncover the best and most sustainable flow states. Today, she shares her knowledge and research as both a private coach and advisor to high-profile individuals as well as a sought-after keynote speaker and workshop facilitator for events and retreats across the globe. She’s also the host of Flow, a podcast that sits at the intersection of spirituality and science to help listeners integrate mindfulness, self-awareness, and flow techniques so they can discover their truest essence and root back to their true selves.
When she’s not uncovering groundbreaking new research on flow, she can be found walking the beach and playing with her children.
- “I love learning, and I'm one of these people that just kind of like always had a centered grounding of what I wanted to do, which, you know, I think I took for granted lately. I've had some conversations with people that are just, you know, making pretty hard pivots, whereas it's almost boring to some people when they hear that.” – Julia Colangelo
- “I am fascinated by the ability to transform and shift with like micro-actions in business, in life, in social media, in any area of what we value. And I think that's just really what's brought me kind of centered in my profession, no matter how many different layers it takes on.” – Julia Colangelo
- “I've always been curious about people in these roles, therapists, coaches, how do you take care of yourself when you are processing so many emotions from your people? I know when I meet with my therapist and my coach, I really just dump on them, and then afterward I'm like, I hope they're okay.” – Andréa Jones
- “I have a lot of fun, and I don't postpone my joy. This year, in particular. I not only don't postpone it, but it is the top priority is just to enjoy and sort of savor these moments, these glimmers in daily life even when they present nuance and challenge to just like center in them.” – Julia Colangelo
- “I was in a pattern of posting whenever I felt like it, and whenever I saw a trending audio that I was like, oh, this is fun and easy, and I would post it, and I would ghost. And that is full disclosure still what I'm doing. And it's because it fits into my lifestyle.” – Julia Colangelo
- “When we're thinking about social media and our essence and what's comfortable and the legacy we want to leave, you get to make the rules. You get to find what works for you. And I would encourage, if you're saying, I wanna just throw in the towel with it all, you have the autonomy to do that. You can choose.” – Julia Colangelo
- “No matter where anyone is on their journey, like just give it space, give it time, and route back to what you do adore. And that's your flow channel. What you're most comfortable in, where you're a little challenged, but you're not having to push yourself.” – Julia Colangelo
Watch the Episode Below:
Andréa Jones (00:00):
So what happens after you go viral? Today I have a special guest, Dr. Julia on the call. We're gonna talk about what happened when she posted a reel that gave her 17,000 followers. The reel got over 6 million views, and how that changed her approach to social media. Let's get into it.
Welcome to The Savvy Social Podcast, the show that blends stories and strategies to help businesses create engaged and profitable online communities using the unique power of social media. And now, your host, Andréa Jones.
Andréa Jones (00:50):
Julia, welcome to the show.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (00:52):
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to spend this morning with you.
Andréa Jones (00:57):
I'm very excited to talk about your story, but I kind of wanna start at the beginning. Because you are a therapist, you have a therapist background, you have even the letters after your title, <laugh> what, what drew you to that, that industry?
Dr. Julia Colangelo (01:16):
Yeah, so I always knew I wanted to be a clinical social worker, and I had some, during some family challenges growing up. Preemptively our family had some supports, and I noticed the initials after their name, L C S W. And these were just super kind therapists that were just, again, sort of like helping navigate the big feelings that a little kid has when parents divorce. And I thought at the time, being a therapist was going to be having hot chocolate and graham crackers with kids playing board games. I did not realize that being a social worker was a lot more than that. But yeah, I was five years old and I said, I'm going to be a social worker. I'm gonna be a therapist, and I'm going to help people make some of these bigger decisions at the crossroads that they have in their life.
And that's what I did. In fact, that same child therapist, her name is Elise, we circle back. I mean, this is over 30 years later, we still kind of have touchpoints every few years. And on her wall was N Y U School of Social Work. And that's actually where I went for my bachelor's in social work. Then I got my master's at Columbia University, and then I got my doctorate in clinical social work at University of Pennsylvania. So I love learning <laugh>, and I'm one of these people that just kind of like always had a centered grounding of what I wanted to do, which, you know, I think I took for granted lately. I've had some conversations with people that are just, you know, making pretty hard pivots, whereas it's almost boring to some people when they hear that. I've been a researcher of flow and mindfulness for over 15 years, and I've really cared about the same direction of my life and purpose for now, again, since I was about five.
But it still excites me, <laugh>. And yeah, so I, I love being a therapist and I still have a tiny therapy practice, but one of the cool things about social work, and this is something I learned from my mom who was actually in the business world, was she always said, you know, if you have an M s w, if you have a master's in social work, and I'm seeing you in the finance world, I know that that person with that training knows, knows a lot about people and knows how to treat people with dignity. And so even if they don't yet have their M B A, I'm gonna wanna hire them, I'm gonna, I'm gonna wanna know something about them. And I know that they will do, they will again, treat people with that dignity and respect. And so I always grounded myself in that knowing that there were so many options with a degree in social work.
And so I had you know, kind of done what, what's pretty typical. I worked in a outpatient mental health clinic. I worked at a public school. I was a child social worker there for four years in Manhattan. And I kind of had this vision, I'll just keep waiting until my paid maternity leave <laugh> and that my, my journey in fertility took a lot longer. So I waited and I stayed even while building my private practice, my consulting business, my coaching business, which was already making double my full-time salary and about eight to 10 hours a week versus 50 hours a week. But I had this, again, like an old narrative that's pretty common for many of us, where it's like we've gotta have that security and stability. So that answers a lot of touch points, but I care a lot about people. I am fascinated by the ability to transform and shift with like micro actions in business, in life, in social media, in any, any area of what we value. And I think that's just really what's brought me kind of centered in my profession, no matter how many different layers it takes on.
Andréa Jones (05:31):
Yeah. And I love that knowing that you had right from the beginning, that that's the kind of work that you wanted to do. One of my curiosity questions that those of you watching and listening to, this almost has nothing to do with social media, but I've always been curious about people in these roles, therapists, coaches, how do you take care of yourself when you are processing so many emotions from your people? I know when I meet with my therapist and my coach, I really just dump on them, and then afterwards I'm like, I hope they're okay <laugh>. Because sometimes I'm like, how I wanna be like, how are you doing? You know, but that's not really the space for it. So I'm curious, you know, what are some of the tools you use to make sure that you stay grounded as you're supporting other people?
Dr. Julia Colangelo (06:19):
I have a lot of fun, and I don't postpone my joy. This year in particular. I not only don't postpone it, but it is the top priority is just to enjoy and sort of savor these moments, these glimmers in daily life even when they present nuance and challenge to just like center in them. So what that means is, you know, minutes before here I had a choice. You know, I could kind of try to do something that may have felt like a chore or I could go breathe some fresh air. And of course I chose taking that deep breath of fresh air, even though it was hard in the moment to sort of step away knowing that then I, I had this call and then a couple other calls today, I, I want anyone who has that question to know that we as practitioners, as therapists, as coaches, we have a choice.
We have autonomy also, and we are choosing to spend our days. I really believe that the term is in partnership, in collaboration mirroring, reflecting, and that it is the greatest honor for me along with being a parent to bear witness to someone's truth and to hold a literalist space and time for it, as opposed to, you know, the, the, I think daily life just gets in our way of one thing to the next. And you know, what's really, you know, confidential or where, you know, what's really private, there's such a sacredness to having a space and being the provider or facilitator of that. And I think that speaks to even being sort of like a newer online business owner. Beyond my therapy practice with social media, I have different courses. I host retreats and events is one thing that I pride myself is, although I don't have to, because again, I have two businesses.
I have my therapy practice, I teach at Columbia, and then I, so those are like under my title, my license. And then I have my online business, which is coaching retreats, which are in person different programs and courses. I don't have to uphold my license because it's a different L l C or not S corp. It's, everything's separate, but I choose to, and I do that because that is who I am. And because, again, some of those old narratives, for better or for worse, there is that instilled fear of like, uphold your license, you know, confidentiality really keeping things like keeping my side of the street clean. And so I do that and I carry that over. And so I'm always surprised, even recently I had something that really kind of was disheartening that, that I experienced and I said, wow, you know, just, just another reminder that I've gotta be awake to not everyone has the same boundaries or understandings or like the schema, the filter through which they're seeing the world with specific details like out of respect to another person.
Whereas to me, it's something that has been ingrained in me, something I benefited from at a very young age. And I am such a fierce advocate for having your own supports as well. So I have my own coach, I have a therapist, I have a hypnotherapist. Lately I've been having some really cool postpartum doulas which has just been, again, a playground for my joy <laugh> but has been just like, okay, I can talk about everything in this really interesting time postpartum as well as just like, receive, and I'm taking different classes. I'm signing up for some, looking at the wall behind me, like some music classes this fall. And there's, and I do a lot that's, I recommend this to anyone who's on technology or, or with people, is to just do something with your hands. Could be gardening, could be puzzles. It, for me it's friendship bracelet making.
I can't wait for you to do that <laugh> with your daughter <laugh>. But it has like been, it's so life-giving to create something. And we're in this cool phase where we're creating and gifting and teaching both of those lessons where it's not like create and keep, it's create and offer and like what that can represent to give something that you actually make. So that's it's truly an honor and, and I keep choosing this path. And anyone who's still in the, you know, service of others, I would consider you in that role and your team in that role as well. We choose to do it, and we get to delight in that honor that we have the opportunity to support others in their, in their healing, in their brilliance, in their, in the middle of a crossroads. While they're not sure what the next move is, but we're able to again, like shoulder some of that with them in partnership with them. It's really beautiful.
Andréa Jones (11:36):
Yes. That is beautiful. I love it. I can't wait to leave us this with my daughter. It's so much fun. Having a kid is like a whole nother adventure. But I agree in that having the tactile pieces after logging off from your computer or, you know, doing your virtual work for the day, people in for the day, it, there's something about it that, that recenters you and, and helps you recognize that, you know, the world online is just part of this world. It doesn't represent everything, which I love.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (12:08):
Andréa Jones (12:09):
Okay, so I wanna talk about this viral moment and what led up to it. So before this video, what was your habits like? What were your habits like on social media?
Dr. Julia Colangelo (12:22):
Yeah, so I jumped on the real train pretty quickly because I, I'm, I'm, I'm very open. Again, I see things as a playground because I'm definitely one of those people that didn't see life that way. I was very comfortable seeing things as like an, you know, oh, do I have to, I'll go all in with this or not. And as soon as I accepted, wow, what a relief. I don't have a very big social media account. I can just play and trial and error. It relieved so much pressure from me. And so about three and a half years ago, I started this, my current account, which is just my name, Dr. Julia Colangelo from Zero. And I had some help with like, you know, understanding some templates, but it was always me posting. And I, I kind of like, from the beginning was like, wow, if I just post in the moment things, you know, have this reach.
And this is three and a half years ago. So these were sort of like more static posts or quotes like Twitter now Thread reposts. When reels came out, I said like, let it be easy. And anyone in my coaching or inner orbit like that is a theme. Let it be easy and let it be easeful. So like, let the easiness feel really full and like robust and flavorful and juicy. And so reels just felt super simple. And I have a couple of friends who you know, did some reels, you know, programs and offered those. And so I signed up for them. And I am such a fierce advocate for if you wanna learn a specific skill, take a course. I'm in this playground now where I'm taking courses for the first time in a couple of years. I'm like, oh, I actually want coaches more than coaching programs for myself in, in certain ways for super, again, like these are more personal related, a specific parenting technique or a specific bedtime routine.
And again, there's so much possibility. So I was in a pattern of posting whenever I felt like it, and whenever I saw a trending audio that I was like, oh, this is fun and easy, and I would post it and I would ghost. And that is full disclosure still what I'm doing, <laugh>. And it's because it fits into my lifestyle. I'm a stay-at-home mom first who happens to work on Tuesdays and then a couple hours sprinkled in throughout the week as, as my flow finds me, as I get creative, as I feel that intuition hit and I'm able to use it for something, channel it for good and mm-hmm. <Affirmative>. So I was in this, at that moment, I was walking along the beach as I do most of the time, <laugh>. And I was with my daughter who's, I guess then about three.
And we were just holding hands. And I, I we, we often like will sometimes look at these cake decorating videos. If you see my explore page, the only things on it are like Play-Doh activities, paint and cake, and cupcake decorating act and chocolate making recently has popped up. And so it's like not definitely representative of what my oldest daughter and I love. And I was like, oh, this is super easy. I'm just walking and I'm gonna record this, like as I was holding my daughter's hand, and I'll just loop it in with something and I'll post it. And I did that. And it was a little tongue in cheek. It was the, the post was about, oh, like just the day before, two people had commented and been very critical on another post that had probably like a hundred thousand views, which was a lot for me.
I had an account size of about 5,000, and they had said, you know, what a shame, you went through all this schooling and now you're a stay-at-home mom and it Wow. And I was like, yes. And also like, how awesome is that? Yeah. And so the viral post was something like, when people hear that I'm a, I'm a doctor who chose to be a stay-at-home mom, and I talked about like, my values, and it showed, it like was me doing like a kind of like the lip sync and then my daughter and I skipping it, you know, it switched to that. Yeah. And I posted it, you know, it got, I don't know, like a, a few thousand views, which was pretty normal at the time, but it didn't get it. And, and what was so interesting is that it was actually, the caption was about that comment that I had gotten two comments on a previous reel, and it was actually a sales post, which it was, it said, join, like, learn how to find your flow.
Like, I'll help you, I'll help you learn how to embody your values and find your flow on your own terms. No matter what your training or education is or isn't. Like, you get to set the pace, you get to find your own flow. It's unique to you. And so I was debunking a lot of the myths in my area of expertise. And so again, it, whatever, you know, probably a few people enrolled from that. It was a small offering, a playground, and I was posting about a reel a day. Again, in those effortless moments, impromptu, not edited, no captions, just, just taking the next right action. And then three or four weeks later, I looked at my phone and it was just going off the charts. Like I was refreshing it and it was going from 5,000 to 7,500. Like, I couldn't even keep up with how many people were following me.
And, and I was like, what is that? Like, I was like, oh, no. Like, should I make it private? Is it like, what's is is some what happened? And then two of my girlfriends reached out and they were like, oh my gosh, that reel of yours, I can't believe it has 2 million views. And again, I was not like, this must've been a day off. I think it was a Saturday or something. So it shook me and then I froze. Mm-Hmm. Right. So it wasn't just, oh, that's great. Well, here I have 30 other, you know, already made reels. I'll just keep the momentum going. It was, I don't even know how to do this anymore. I just froze. And I had to, and then of course, in the comments of anything that goes super viral, there's so much bullying. (19:15):
So I turned off the comments and I was just like, this is so sad. And yeah. Yeah. So I think I, I allowed myself to, I came immediately and like made just a static post saying, listen, if this is, if this is social media, this ain't for me. And here's, here I am, this is who I am. I'm on here to help. Right? This is the, as we know, social media, we give, we give and we try to do the right thing to inspire, to educate, to offer a golden nugget for free. It feels very in with, in my integrity to do that. And then I just said, you know what, what if I just chill <laugh>? Yeah. And stop with the reels. And I can tell you about that, what happened with that too.
But it was, it was a very hard night and day, whereas a lot of my friends were like, but you should love this, your account's growing, and all of this. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. In fact, I had started that account three years ago after having a, a larger therapy only account because I didn't like big accounts, my personality, like smaller, curated really, really intentional and reciprocal relationships as opposed to me overgiving or even I guess over receiving though that that's not the tendency. But you know, like I'm mindful that I will tend to, you know, go above and beyond. That's my personality. And so I like curated, so I have the capacity for that.
Andréa Jones (21:07):
Yeah. Oh my gosh, I can't even imagine what, like, I guess I can't imagine what that feels like, 'cause I see it happen every day, but it's, it's so unfortunate. It's kind of like the underbelly of what happens on social media when you have the best of intentions. And I find it so interesting that this post didn't have immediate, you know, virality. It, it took a couple of weeks and then within a day it seems like things happened all of a sudden, and you froze.
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So are you, did you log out of Instagram after that moment or like what, what did the next couple of weeks look like after this viral moment?
Dr. Julia Colangelo (23:05):
Yeah, so I had like this reckoning moment of, you know, because trolling comments, they hurt. And I was like, huh, how do I wanna showcase my expertise? You know, I'm a nerd. Social media, again, I was seeing as a playground, super low stakes, you know, a benefit. I got to help people, I got to inspire people. But I was like, is this like, again, channeling back to that five-year-old channeling back to being an undergraduate student, a graduate student, a clinical doctorate student, now a parent. I had this moment where I'm like, what do I, how do I wanna be known in what way? And you know what, I've been a successful coach and therapist to like your favorite celebrities and like this cool downtown artist, New York City group that <laugh> has been so fun. Let me just, let me come back to my roots of providing like, pretty exclusive services to people who are public, public facing.
And look, now I have even more of an insight into how much, how hard that must be. Like, one of my clients, I think they have like eight or 10 million followers and, you know, like the pressure to that they, that they feel. And a lot of what I do in supporting clients is that, is that like finding your flow as you rise as a public figure, as you go from being able to be anonymous or sort of be in that in-between to being from a rising star to a superstar and still grounding and rooting in your, in your true essence. And for me, again, that's like wearing khakis and Birkenstocks that are 19 years old, making friendship bracelets, having a mom bun most of the time, and being a total nerd, like unapologetically. And so I kept, I didn't delete my account, which I almost, I felt tempted to.
And at the time I was working with a couple of folks and I have, I have a couple of agents interested in, in my future book. And so all, they were sort of like rallying and like, please don't delete your account. Yeah. Like, please keep your platforms take a break, you know? And I said, great, I'll take a week and just like, not post anything and just ride this out. And it did level off, it leveled off at like, I think about 17,000, 18,000 followers. And then since then, luckily, right, without posting much for the next year, I probably posted 20 times versus I guess maybe I posted 500 times the year prior. And a couple of things happened, I stopped taking it so seriously. But I also lost that like playfulness that now a year and a half later I have rekindled, which is super beautiful.
And again, if you, no matter where anyone is on their journey, like just give it, give it space, give it time and route back to what you do adore. And that, like, that's your flow channel, what you're most comfortable in, where you're a little challenged, but you're not having to push yourself. And you're, you're certainly not having to do a publicly if that's not your personality or your preference. And so what happened was, I pulled back a ton on social media, but I did not delete my account and my business, I think, I mean the, I earned like three times as much in revenue I had without social media, the most successful year. And so this entering this year, I said, okay, wow. Without social media, I had, you know, give or take, I had the presence I had, but people could see it.
Oh, she hasn't posted in a while. And I said, so this, the goal this year is to be a little on social media and then see how my business is doing. And of course, I've had a second kid. I basically took six, you know, I've taken much of the year off <laugh>. And it's still been a great year. I think we'll finish comparable to where we were last year, and that was really spectacular. So I, I'm saying this because when we're thinking about social media and our essence and what's comfortable and the legacy we want to leave, you get to make the rules. You get to find what works for you. And I would encourage, if you're saying, I wanna just throw in the towel with it all, you have the autonomy to do that. You can choose. But the middle path, which I, I like to think of as like the sprinkles around either your business or your inspiration or your passion, whatever reason you have social media, the sprinkles is like showing up on your terms at your own pace.
You know, there's not a sprinkle on every single piece of the ice cream. And that's the middle path, and that's how you're gonna feel most empowered. And it feels like you're taking, again, like the, you're having autonomy, you're using your voice and your presence on your own terms, and it's not too much forcing. And also not the boredom of completely being off the grid. And that's where I am now. And things, again, they're buzzing, they're playful. Again, it took me a year and a half, but I'm really glad that I didn't delete the account or just disappear completely. And I'm really proud of myself. 'cause Again, I kept thinking of my, my daughter saying, what would I want them to do? Give it space kind of back off but not throw in the towel if it's something that at any point kind of brought me some joy or allowed me to help another person. And that's what I love about social media is right, we get to keep giving. We, we get to give to people and drop those little golden nuggets to people that might never have, have heard that or think about things in that different way. It's similar to podcasting. You know, we, we get to just share those glimpses and that can truly Right. Change someone's trajectory of their lives and decision making and really empower them. Yes. I
Andréa Jones (29:36):
Love this ice cream analogy too with the, with the sprinkle.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (29:39):
I do love sprinkle.
Andréa Jones (29:41):
And I think it's, so, it's one of those things where we look at social media and we see so publicly what everyone else is doing, and then we make assumptions about how they're approaching it. And I know from the work that I do with my clients, that a lot of these people have teams of people behind them. And as one person trying to match that is, is a, is a recipe for burnout. And so finding the playfulness, finding your sprinkles, you know, figuring out how you are gonna approach social media is so beautiful. And it's why I love having these conversations on this podcast, because especially for those people listening who do everything themselves on social media, it doesn't have to be, you know, follow this strict plan. And it also doesn't have to be delete Instagram from your phone and never go there again. You know, finding that middle ground takes experimenting and it takes time to figure it out, which I love. I do have a follow up question because you've mentioned posting and ghosting. However, I know that you are still very good at relationship building and nurturing. So, you know, outside of posting and ghosting, what are some of the things that support your social media success specifically? You know, the beautiful relationships you've built and cultivated through people you've met on social media?
Dr. Julia Colangelo (31:06):
I am such an old school emailer. I love email and I like to offer ways that I can help. So an example is, right now as we're recording it, it's summer. And so I've reached out to a couple of people that I follow that I know either have a book that's recently come out or is set to come out in the next couple of months. And I know how important things like pre-orders are, or, you know, purchases within a certain window. And so I like to offer ways that I can support beyond social media, where we're kind of like, I would say the strongest community element is for me in my weekly newsletter. And then, you know, that I send one to three times a week within, within that dynamic community. And so I would say offering to give, be of service and just help for the sake of helping and being of service has been a cornerstone to relationship building for me on social media and off.
So if there's someone, you know, needing, needing or wanting something reposted or a friend of mine sometimes gets a lot of sponsored, does a lot of brand partnerships. And so, you know, those posts maybe don't get as much don't get as many likes or comments, and I understand right. Their agreement with the brand partner relies on that. And so if there's anything I can do, like reposting it, resharing, that's the type of person you wanna be is someone who offers who of service, who again does the right thing and lifts others up. So I look for opportunities to highlight someone else and look for opportunities to, like, again, just do something that, that I know because of, for example, we're doing this midsummer midsummer reading list. That's what I'm sending out next week. And so I've been in touch with authors and aspiring authors saying, do you have the link?
Send it to me here, I'll highlight it. Right. This is not an affiliate, this is not a joint venture. This is truly just lifting up people who I admire and I respect and I like, and sharing their message with the awesome community in email and social media. So I would say anything email based, anything that kind of can come off of social media Yeah. Is a, is a, is a cornerstone to how I build and sustain relationships. The other is, you know, I'm not afraid to, in fact, I, I consistently invest in different courses, in group coaching programs in one-off sessions, v i p days events, and really seeing like the possibilities in that. My theme for the last year has been reciprocity and like reciprocal energy. So I love purchasing something. And what's cool is the longer, like, we're in this for the long game, right?
I hire folks, they might hire me, I might hire them twice more. They might hire me or attend an event. And I just love the expansiveness of relationships in that way where we might be friends and we also might at different seasons be each other's clients. And it's, it's, that's part of the reason why I had, I decided to start this whole second business because of course in therapy that is not permitted. And it's, again, it's like co it's a completely different entity. So it's been really fun to just collaborate and offer how I can help. And I, the first, the first year of of COVID I refer, I did the math, I referred over a million dollars in, in from March Wow. To December. So less than a year, like 10 months, I didn't I did not make seven figures that year.
I also did not have capacity. By March 20th, my therapy caseload was full, and by April 30th, my coaching capacity was at a max. And so I just would go on Instagram and look for people, and a couple of them are really, they're gonna have seven figure years themselves, but of course they were filled in their caseload with high paying private clients, celebrity clients, public figures that I just was at capacity for. So it's always been a pattern to kind of say, how much can I refer out? And as a therapist, we are not permitted to receive a referral bonus, an affiliate, none of that within the therapy world. And so it's just very like, ingrained in me to just make the connection because that's the right thing to do. Yeah.
Andréa Jones (35:48):
Yeah. I love the spirit of generosity. And I do think that, I don't, I think it's the nature of social media. We are so used to just free entertainment, free information that I think sometimes we have really high expectations for giving something. Mm-Hmm. And I talk to my members about this a lot in the Savvy Social School, someone asked me, you know how do you keep track of all the relationships? Do you have a spreadsheet? Do you have like, I don't have a spreadsheet. I don't have a spreadsheet for my friends, you know, like at the, the most I'll do is put their birthdays in my Google calendar, <laugh> like that, that makes sense. But having a spreadsheet keeps track of social media relationships is just not my, not my vibe. And I think how you approach building relationships is key.
It's not going into these with the expectation of, oh, they're going to be a client one day, or they're gonna buy a product, or, you know, whatever the case may be. It's, how can I give to them without expecting anything in return? And that genuinely is how you have to approach this. And if you don't get anything in return, still being okay with that, still being actually happy with that and, and delighting in it. And I love the word playground, like being playful with it. I absolutely love that. So as we head into the second half of this year, what are your plans for social media? Are you trying any new platforms? Are you exploring any other avenues? Let me know.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (37:28):
Yes. I love Threads because I was the person who would post on Twitter just to be able to screenshot it and post it on Instagram <laugh>. So the amount of time and energy I have now gotten back is immeasurable <laugh>. And so I love threads because it feels like it's a level playing field in many ways. And as a thought leader and a subject matter expert, that's where myself and many, I would say the majority of my clients fall into is public figure thought leader. And then we happen to own a business as opposed to solely entrepreneurial. It feels like a place for our nerdiness and our thinking. And I really appreciate that about Threads. And again, I, I think it was just overdue for a lot of us to have something to feel giddy about and feel playful around. I am going to be posting more and ghosting even more <laugh> on Instagram.
And so it's, again, it took me a year and a half, but now I'm in this rhythm where I'm saying, okay, you know, if I've got the weekend photos of the fam or I've got this nerdy thing from a public health conference that I'm presenting at whatever it is, I'm gonna just share it and not trying to conform or get it right. I think one of the things that helps me in my knowledge of social media is I actually don't even know how to get into some of these filters or, or things features within the app. So it's literally just, I post, right? I post, I share, I try to format, but half the time I might miss the mark. And so being radically compassionate to myself about that. And I would say, you know, I restarted my podcast, which is flow, and it's been just so fun.
Earlier this year I had, or late last year, rather, I had a really serious couple of medical challenges. And in that I just was like, I just need to speak a little. And so instead of writing, which I've always been a writer, speaking is somehow a little easier. And then of course we can transcribe it into emails and whatnot. But I think just growing community that in other settings that are just the, I'm looking at it through the filter of what's the easiest for me and my family in this season of our lives. And again, like I don't wanna look back and think that in these early developmental stages, I was on my phone as much as I think I used to be. And I'm, I'm like rejoicing in that my phone is the, it's kind of like the, you know, not even in the top 10 probably. And that's why I tend to like, again, post and ghost around 10:30 PM after the kids are asleep before the night nursing with, with my baby and just being okay with that, giving myself a lot of grace and knowing that, again, like imperfect but intentional action is going to move me closer to my vision for my life and my lifestyle.
Andréa Jones (40:37):
Yes. Beautiful. I love the playfulness with Threads. I hope everyone else is playing on Threads too, so we can all continue to see this app to grow. I have high hopes. I do too. I love
Dr. Julia Colangelo (40:48):
Andréa Jones (40:49):
Yeah. Yeah. I'm, I'm very excited. So as we wrap up, I know that you have your email list memo. Talk to us about what we can expect when we sign up. Yeah.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (41:03):
So it's, if you like, tangible and measurable ways to enhance your life, to find your flow. And we didn't get into so much about what flow is, but it think of it as that middle path. Think of it as the sprinkles. Think of it as the small joys and delights, and that it is something unique to you. A lot of people are gonna have you believe that flow is this only this optimal state of performance when really it's an ability to integrate your values and your actions and just live a really mindful, fulfilled life. I know that might sound boring to some people, but working with some of, again, the most known people in the world, that's actually what all they want as well. A steadiness, a smoothness and fulfillment. And so Flow helps you do that while preserving energy, because we've all got different, you know, in my case, it's caregiving responsibilities, chronic illness, I've got some chaos because life is lifeing and flow is the grounding element for us to just be tr in true alignment and have a repeatable system to do that.
So in the Flow Memo right now I'm calling it The Wave where I send you different recommendations every week. I share almost daily podcast episodes that are between today there was one that was three and a half minutes to 20 minutes. So they're bite size and they're really practical and a lot of behind the scenes. I just today shared a five part series on like, behind the scenes of my success. And I woke up to like four Voxers saying this was really helpful and this surprised me. And I'll like pull back the curtain because again, similar to social media, I feel like I don't have much to lose because even you just, it's, again, it's a bonus. It's the spring, they're the sprinkles on top of like, whereas the ice cream is like my research, my thought leadership, my area of expertise, my teaching, the theories.
Mm-Hmm. And so I, I think, yeah, it's, it's, I also send a quarterly flow playlist, which everyone loves this. It's the highest click rate I get every time. Because I curate, I take about three or four hours and curate a seasonal playlist to enter your flow state. So you've got about 60 minutes or more of repeatable music that you can listen to on Spotify. And the feedback from that is so fun because a lot of the tracks surprise people, but they, I position it just as I do with research. Like things are intentionally in a place so that there's an easing into your flow state, there's an enjoyment of your flow, and then there's the dropping out of your flow where you're like integrating back into parenting or real life or whatever else you've got going on.
Andréa Jones (43:57):
Interesting. Oh, I love this. Y'all sign up for the Flow Memo. I'm putting the link in the show notes, and you can find all of the links to connect with julia at onlinedrea.com slash 2 6 4. Ah, Julia, this has been such an amazing conversation. Thank you for being on the show.
Dr. Julia Colangelo (44:15):
Thank you so much for having me. And for anyone listening, you know, just be kind to yourself. I think there's just so much pressure in the world. There's so many we're all going through more than we probably even know. And just be kind to yourself. There's, let's, let's social media be the sprinkles that allows you to inspire and help someone else and find joy and, and kind of share those golden nuggets so that you do lead that legacy professionally or personally, however you, however you want.
Andréa Jones (44:47):
Yes. Beautiful. Thank you so much and thank you, dear listener, for another episode of the podcast, make sure to give us a five star rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify helps keep us in the top 100 marketing podcasts. I'll see you next week. Bye for now.